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Girl Cat or Boy Cat for Bogart?

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
So, I keep thinking about getting another cat for Bogey, probably a kitten, and I was wondering if there is any info out there as to whether or not it's better to get a boy or a girl. Bogart really likes my Cybil, but she only barely tolerates him. She will let him sleep on the couch or the bed with her, but that's about it. I tried to introduce him to Sonny a few weeks back and he initially hissed but then got over it really fast. But Sonny did not like Bogart at all.

Is it better to have two of the same sex or one of each? Or is it really more like rolling the dice and just a matter of kitty temperament? I keep passing up on girl cats/kittens because I am partial to boys, but if he is going to get along better with a girl, I would definitely get one.

And would I have a better chance with a kitten than I would with an adult cat? Thanks in advance for any input. :)
 

Lord Snot

Parsley Provider
It will depend on the individual cats. In general, male/female pairings will tend to get on slightly better but with cats it is so much the roll of the dice that sex shouldn't really come into the decision. If it was me I would go to a rescue and adopt a cat that gets on well with other cats, not a kitten. But are you sure Bogarty needs a cat friend? They are generally happier being the centre of attention than sharing it with other felines.
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
I'm not 100% sure...he just seems to want attention from Cybil and she won't give it to him. Sometimes he seems like he's bored, but when I try and play with him, he only lasts 2-3 minutes. I have numerous toys and he just doesn't stay interested for very long. He'll come up to me and cry like he wants something, and I'll try feeding him, playing with him, petting him, but sometimes those things don't seem to be what he's looking for.

Sometimes I watch the show My Cat From Hell (not saying Bogart is that at all, lol), and one of the things Jackson always makes the people do is tire their cats out with lots of play. I just can't Bogart to do this. So I thought maybe he needed one of his own kind that will maybe give him the attention he craves but doesn't get from Cybil.
 

Lord Snot

Parsley Provider
I would be surprised if another cat was the answer, or if he got that kind of attention from another cat. They don't really crave affection from their own kind, although you do occasionally get pairs who are very close and will groom each other and play with each other often. Without seeing him in context it's pretty hard to say what he wants, I think sometimes cats just want to grumble like we do. Maybe he's telling you about his day and how he's feeling, and you're interpreting it as him wanting something? :)
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
I would be surprised if another cat was the answer, or if he got that kind of attention from another cat. They don't really crave affection from their own kind, although you do occasionally get pairs who are very close and will groom each other and play with each other often. Without seeing him in context it's pretty hard to say what he wants, I think sometimes cats just want to grumble like we do. Maybe he's telling you about his day and how he's feeling, and you're interpreting it as him wanting something? :)
I suppose...it's probably just me feeling like I'm failing him in some way...I'm not happy unless everyone around me is happy, lol. I do tend to second guess a lot.
 

CrazyCatLady

World Class Member
My cat loves attention. She is pretty much a dog in a cat's body. She'll wait at the door when I get in from work and almost wag her tail and greet me. I thought about getting her a friend as I thought she might be lonely. I did some research and found that cats often crave human attention but rarely benefit from other cat companions.
I didn't get another in the end. Though I would love to rehome another, I couldn't risk it not working out and upsetting her.

My mum has 4 cats. 3 girls and a boy. The boy is the brother of one of the girls. They get on the best, but never lay together or groom or play with each other. And the other girls are unsociable. Most of the girls are very friendly with my mums dogs tho :-/ xxx
 
M

mlp

Guest
IME, the most important factor in whether cats enjoy the company of other cats is whether they were raised as an only cat. Cats who grew up with other cats enjoy the company of cats. Cats who were removed from their mothers and littermates at a young age and grew up as solitary cats can be more problematic in multi cat households, and you are not necessarily doing such a cat a favor by adding another cat.

Neutered males tend to be somewhat more relaxed and easy going than females - females, even spayed, have more of a tendency toward territoriality, although individual personality is paramount. And ultimately, a female who grew up in a multi cat household is more easygoing than a neutered male who grew up as a solitary cat.

After living with dozens of cats during my life, I have to say that I have yet to meet a cat who grew up in a colony or in a multi cat household who does not do well in a multi cat household. Such cats, IME, are also generally more mellow, better adjusted, and less high strung/neurotic.

There's a reason feral cats are found in colonies - a solitary life is not natural to cats, contrary to common perception. Humans create the solitay cat by removing kittens from their mothers and littermates at a young age, and such removal can change the nature of the cat forever.

IMO, the best bet for a second cat is adopting a mature cat who has a history of liking the company of other cats.

ETA: I have lived with 10+ cats for most of my adult life. With the exception of several cats who belonged to various family members and were raised as solitary cats, all of my cats have enjoyed the company of other cats, regularly cuddle with and groom each other, etc. This is in particular true of the ferals and semi ferals that I have brought inside, which is why I say that it is humans who create the solitary cat.
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
At one point I had six cats...a mom, her four babies, and Mikey who was not related. The mom and babies lived for years but never really interacted with each other, which I thought was odd. But they didn't fight except for Cybil and her mom, Mandi. Cybil was really mean to Mandi...I had to keep them separated when I wasn't home. But Cybil is not that way with Bogart. She will hiss at him but they can be six inches from each other and they never actually fight. I'm thankful for that. Sometimes Bogart will follow her from room to room and I think that annoys her, lol. She just doesn't want to be bothered at all. Cybil is the only remaining cat of the original six. I always knew she would last the longest because she has the least desirable personality, lol.
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
Bogart is very mellow and got along with the other cats at the shelter. I will continue to be on the lookout, then, for another cat who likes other cats. :)
 
M

mlp

Guest
My first group of cats that I lived with as an adult included Merlin, Sassafras and Kate, who were littermates. Kate had a litter of kittens before we were able to trap her, and I ended up with two of her kittens, Nikki and Max. Kate, Merlin and Sassafras were very loving with each other (and with Friday, who was not related to them) all their lives. Kate would occasionally hold Nikki and Max down and forcibly groom them, but apart from that, she acted as though they should have moved out on their own long since.

I'm currently living with several family groups. Sita had Shiloh, Babu and Elf by the time I realized she'd been dumped here. Shiloh and Babu are very close to each other, and Elf still spends a lot of time cuddling with her mom. Moonshadow and all three of her kittens (Binky, Matilda and Jenny) are still close - she's usually cuddling with one of them. Both of those litters were born three years ago. Destiny is semi close with her three, who were born last year, but the three of them (Desiree, Dulcinea and Desperado) are still quite feral, and are inseparable. This year's family (Elinor and her kittens - Alice, Rafael, Guinevere and Isis -dumped here when the kittens were quite small) are of course still a close family unit. Tao and Zen, six year old brothers, are still inseparable. Serenity hated her brother Sebastian for years, but in the past year or so, she's grown to tolerate him - they're fifteen now.
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
mlp, you're so lucky to have so many kitties in your life! :)
I always found it strange that my four sibling kittens grew up together and were never close as they got older. They liked each other and didn't fight (except for Cybil turning on Mandi as she got older and sickly). But even Thor, Beavis and Tommy went about doing their own thing and never did the cuddly thing.
Is Serenity the one that got shaved? How's the hair growing back? I bought a shaver to use on some of the mats on Bogart. I can't believe he's not afraid of it and actually acts like he likes it...I started out by putting it near him with the blade guard on and when I saw he wasn't afraid, I was then able to get two of the big mats off. I'm not going to shave him completely...it's only one side that has a few matted areas. I don't really mind if he looks a little choppy, lol.
 
M

mlp

Guest
Yes, Serenity was the one who got shaved. I was very insistent that the groomer cut off only the matted parts, because I wanted her to be able to go into the outdoor enclosure w/o risk of sunburn. Groomers hate to do that, IME - I suspect they think a choppy cut is a reflection on their grooming skills. But as it was, Serenity only needed her stomach shaved and a few spots on her haunches. Those areas are still considerably shorter than the rest of her fur, but they're filling in.

Yes, I'm really very lucky with my crew. They're all good kids, and get along remarkably well, especially considering how many of them there are.
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
I noticed this thread in the “similar threads” and decided to bump it. I loved Bogart so much. So sad that he only lived a year with me.

I did end up getting another cat...my sweet Ben. He’s now over the rainbow bridge with Bogart. They liked each other. It was a good match. :smitten:

79E0A683-2DAB-4E4A-827A-49E29476B392.jpeg
 

KLS52

“SnarkMaster”
I love that I adopted them both as adult cats. Bogart was said to be around six years old but when I brought him for his first checkup the vet estimated closer to ten. He was declawed and was picked up by a good Samaritan and brought to the shelter. He had been seen wandering the streets for about a month.
Ben was almost three. He was adopted as a kitten but returned to the rescue when the couple split up. Their loss was definitely my gain.
 

shyvas

Deity
Forum Moderator
I love that I adopted them both as adult cats. Bogart was said to be around six years old but when I brought him for his first checkup the vet estimated closer to ten. He was declawed and was picked up by a good Samaritan and brought to the shelter. He had been seen wandering the streets for about a month.
Ben was almost three. He was adopted as a kitten but returned to the rescue when the couple split up. Their loss was definitely my gain.
They were lucky to have the best mum in the world. Isn't it nice to post pix of our lovely babies. They were so special. :sadnod:
 
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