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Philosophy NSFW Does being nice necessarily mean repression?

Discussion in 'Social Sciences & Humanities' started by Indian Summer, Dec 10, 2016.

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  1. Indian Summer

    Indian Summer Administrator Owner

    That seems to be the message in this video - being nice, or being a 'nice guy', means self-censorship / repression:

    Are 'nice guys' not being authentic, not living authentic lives?
  2. Andy_T

    Andy_T Addicted Poster Forum Moderator

    Hannover, Germany
    Oh my, I don't know where to start.

    Let's just say that the person who made this movie has some very wrong ideas and beliefs IMO.

    Just the idea that everybody who is a "nice" man must have a lot of repressed evil urges inside himself, tells me more about the person making the video than about "nice men"...
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 1
  3. beancounter

    beancounter The Fire That Burns Within

    This video is solely focuses on repression/censorship of sexual desires. It barely touches on the broader issues of self censorship as discussed in the article posted by Andy regarding that professor who was on some conservative black list, and the PC police (and that other group for which we now have an alternative name for on this board** ) as mentioned by myself on occasion.

    **which by the way, is an example of self censorship...

    Back on topic:
    Whether it is socially acceptable or not, males tend to be very sexual beings. It is in their nature (unless it's been socially repressed) to seek out multiple partners.

    In terms of being aggressive, well I think that leads to increased sexual excitement which allows men to ejaculate sooner rather than later. Why is this relevant? Because quick successful copulation was vital to our primate ancestors..in order to pass on their genes, they had to do it quickly before a larger/stronger competitor stopped an attempted copulation, and passed on his own genes.

    That is not to stay that causing a female partner harm is OK. However, any expression of sexual fantasy that is not within "acceptable" limits will be ostracized as perverted. But what is acceptable changes over time. "Doggy style" was considered perverted ("animalistic") in the past, which is why the missionary position was so popular for so long. And perhaps I've been out of the loop for a long time, but it seems that up until the past 5 or 10 years, anal sex between a straight couple was viewed as unacceptable. (I personally don't remember anyone mentioning it before then). Regardless, my point is that standards change. And men want to be able to function within society without having to carry extra baggage, so they repress these feelings.

    I personally believe men should be free to express themselves sexually (or in other ways), with the only litmus test being violent/harmful behavior, which should never be tolerated.
  4. Mischief

    Mischief Addicted Poster

  5. beancounter

    beancounter The Fire That Burns Within

    A little OT, but relevant.
  6. beancounter

    beancounter The Fire That Burns Within

    The sexual fantasies of others.
  7. Mischief

    Mischief Addicted Poster

    Odd, that it's only men who should be so free.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. beancounter

    beancounter The Fire That Burns Within

    The video's focus was on men, so my response focused on men.
  9. Mischief

    Mischief Addicted Poster

    Yeah, that's a problem, the whole idea that men are somehow more "repressed" than women.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. Katrina

    Katrina Deity


    My issue with this video is the phrase "You are silencing him."

    What a load of garbage.

    If you want your partner to help you carry groceries to the car, ask for help. If you want to do something kinky in bed, just say so. And if you're dating the type of person who frowns upon that sort of thing, you should probably stop seeing them.

    ETA: And I mostly say that because sex and pornography aren't exactly taboo subjects in our culture. It's pretty normal to talk about it.
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2016
    • Agree Agree x 4
  11. beancounter

    beancounter The Fire That Burns Within

    Hmm, I wonder what the responses would be if the subject was female repression.

    My guess is that people would be praising the video....
  12. Katrina

    Katrina Deity

    The subject of the video isn't the issue. It's the way that it's being presented....

    If someone has an issue with sexual repression, that's something that likely came from their upbringing. It doesn't make sense to blame it on the person you're dating, which is what this video seems to be doing.
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2016
    • Agree Agree x 3